About acceptance and feeling happy

I have been doing a lot thinking recently. Actually I think all the time, all sorts of stuff. My friends call me emo kid, self pity boy, and names like that. It’s understandable actually, I am really sure an emotionally needy person.

How can a day be complete without a bit of self degrading?

Anyway, I was doing some self searching and i realized why I am always so emo, it’s because i simply refuses to accept facts and situations in life. Sometimes, it’s as simple as accepting it. There’s no need to be crystal clear, how others feel. When I see something that’s not going my way, instead of accepting it and move, I wallow in my self pity and then starts going all emo crappy and shit. I start to speculate, come out with my own conclusions, blah blah.

Not only is it social suicide, it shows how weak and feeble i am in the mind. I really shouldn’t continue this crap.

School is starting in a week’s time, which is like woah, so fast! My holiday is full of emo crapness, and i really hope that it doesn’t over spill to the school days. Haiz.

Rock on.

I miss you!

Have u ever missed someone and felt terrible because u think that he/she doesn’t miss u? Missing someone is a terrible but at the same time,sweet feeling. U will be sitting around wondering if u meant anything to him/her.Thinking if he/she ever cares about u.Rushing to the phone once it rings hoping that it’s him/her.Looking out of the window hoping that he/she will surprise u by appearing downstairs. Sitting in front of the television but thinking of him, missing the final episode of your favourite show.

Laying on your bed, thinking of the last time u were out together.Thinking of how nice it will be to sit under the stars again, talking about everything, your dreams,plans,future. Logging on to the internet hoping to see him/her online.When u realise that he/she isn’t online and did not return your page,u will start worrying if he/she is okay. Missing someone is a way of growing up i guess. It exposes u to loneliness.It teaches u how to cope with being lonely and let u know that there is actually a feeling known as emptiness.

Sometimes it feels good to miss someone. U know that u really care and u indulge in the feeling of loving/caring for him/her.But missing someone and not knowing if he/she is feeling the same is terrible. U feel as if u are being left alone. So if u miss someone, tell him/her and let them know.At the same time, ask if they miss u.Don’t let the feeling of missing someone become jealousy or paranoia. If u are the one being missed and u know it, let the other party know. if u miss him/her too, tell them. Don’t let them wait.

Well, what are you waiting for then !…………….

Rock on.

How Come…

people can’t be definite? they allow you to do things for them, they allow u breathing space, then pretend to give you a glimmer of hope. Then actually… the door is shut.

I for one, is definite. If I like someone, my actions will show. If I hate someone, my actions will show. If I don’t wanna lead people on, I will tell her to her face. It’s that simple.

Don’t waste time. Life’s precious. At the very most, I add one more “bestie” to my list.

I hate it when people thinks “Oh man she did so much for me, I can’t possibility reject her. Maybe I will try to like her.”

It’s utter rubbish ok. Attraction comes like that. If you can’t stand a person, if you feel like this person is never going to be your lover, don’t lead her on; don’t think you will TRY to like her. Don’t waste her life, emotions, money, effort.

Sometimes, I wonder if people actually enjoys torturing people like that. Or maybe they like the attention from the other person. I don’t buy that… give me time to see through the trick, and I’ll be gone… like forever.

Sadly, leaving probably won’t mean a thing in the end.

Rock on.